Visiting Home

After 3 hours of sleep, I woke up early to get on the subway to get to the express bus terminal to go home to Chungju. When I visited 2 weeks ago I stayed a night but this time I just returned in the evening because I felt like I wasted a bunch of time there last time. The bus ride took about an hour and a half, which I slept through most of. Then me and Saerom unni went to get our armpits lasered again because it's been 4 weeks, and we need to get shot every month. Compared to the first time it was MUCH less painful because it was much quicker since I've already done it once. The effects are amazing! I highly recommend it to anyone. Afterwards, I went to my first uncle's house where my baby niece was also visiting, and I played with her and watched tv for a couple hours. Then we went to my grandma's new old people home (she moved earlier this week) and visited her for about an hour. For some reason, I was very emotional this time and cried a little when I saw her. I don't know why! She didn't do or say anything to me, but just seeing her and holding her hands made me very sad. I realized how much I had missed her for the past two weeks and how much I love her and I felt really guilty about not being a genuinely better granddaughter to her. I still think of it as something on my to-do list to give her a call every couple days and to visit Chungju every other week. This sounds morbid, but everytime I see her I feel like it might be the last time because she might die any day! Which is overly dramatic on my part because she is totally fine and full of energy.

I feel like I'm not myself here. Not just because I'm going out a lot and drinking and partying and actually WANTING to do it instead of just thinking of it as a social obligation (?), but more of my own personality and feelings. In a way it's good- sometimes I feel like I'm being more confident, outgoing and social, but I also keep surprising myself to my own emotional reactions and thought processes. I don't know... Maybe it's because of the fact that what I have right now is going to be over in less than 2 weeks, when the summer term ends and almost all my friends will be returning to America, so everything feels more urgent and intensified? Even the 6 months that I'm staying is so short! I really don't know. I've never been so confused about myself like this before. This paragraph has way too many "I"s. I know this is my own blog, but so many times when I'm writing I feel so self-centered! haha

So after I got back to Seoul, I met Cindy and Melody to go shopping in the underground shopping area under the express bus terminal for a couple hours. Got back home around 10:30 and Dianne says a bunch of people are going to a bar in Shinchon and possibly Quvo afterwards. My feet are dead from shopping in heels but clubbing? At Quvo?! Of course I'm down! Well actually we ended up not going because by the time we left the bar around 3 the clubs were going to close in an hour or so anyway. So we went to Yoogekjoo in Shinchon with like 10 people or something and met up with maybe 10 more and ran into maybe 10 more! I met Audrey Sunu, Shannon Kim, and Tim Kang - who I went to middle school with in PV! Well Audrey I saw at school because she's taking classes at Yonsei too, and it just so happens that Shannon's boyfriend is really good friends with David S., a friend I met here. Koreans all know each other somehow -.- The people we ran into later were all the kids who live in I-House (I hang out with all S-House people; S-House being the alternate housing in the hotel, not the dorms) and I'm good friends with some of them too so that was fun!

I'm realizing that I actually have higher tolerance than I thought. I always tell people I'm a lightweight because that's what I honestly thought, since I would start feeling it after only like 4-5 shots of soju or 3-4 shots of vodka. But my buzz wears off really fast, so even though I drank a lot yesterday I didn't feel anything more than a little happier than buzzed. I think it's because after a couple BAD experiences with alcohol in the past I've convinced myself to limit myself, and I set that limit really low. Anyway, better safe than sorry, right? Yesterday was a great time because a lot of times when I drink I just get tired and boring but I was happy and hyper yesterday :] So after drinking we went to NRB instead and got home around 4 or 5. It was really fun because I got a chance to get close to a lot of people that I just see around a lot but never hang out with.

Today I woke up at 2:30 -.- Two quizzes tomorrow and I haven't done any of my readings yet so today is a homebody day. :[